Take Care

I feel like its taken me years to really understand this, and to really understand the meaning behind taking care of ones needs. I'm someone who people pleases and I really feel like If I can't, then i'm not a good person.

But one of the things I've been learning, and I hear time and time again is look after yourself. I read this in self help books, I hear this in groups, I hear this from doctors. I hear this on the internet, and in videos about mental health. I hear it all the time. Take care of yourself. You come first.

But I've never been one to really apply it. Take it to heart, and hold it there. Listen for sounds and signs that I'm not taking care of myself. Because at the end of the day, who I am doesn't matter. Its who I please. Its who I make happy. Because without them, I'm no one. Right?

Nope, Wrong. 

I found this out this weekend.

You need to take care of yourself.

Because no one else is going to.

No one is going to know how you feel mentally.

Sure someone, and people can see when you are physically sick. when you are puking.

But your body also tells you way before everyone else sees you vomit that you aren't okay. 

Your head feels fuzzy, maybe you feel woozy. Those people don't know it. Unless you describe it. Those people don't know. Unless you say 'hey i'm feeling...'. Doctors don't even know whats wrong unless you tell them symptoms. But this is just that.

I need to learn to listen to my body better.  

I need to take care of me.

If I'm anxious, I need to take care of myself.

If I'm stressed I need to take care of myself.

If I'm depressed I need to take care of myself.

If I'm triggered I need to take care of myself.

The fact is, I'm on earth to take care of me. 

If you lived a long life and a happy, healthy life by taking care of people. Professionals, doctors, teachers, and so on. Wouldn't ever get sick.

Taking care of myself isn't selfish. 

Its not. 

Its not rude either.