inspires

Ever since I joined my bpd group, I've been really inspired. I feel like I'm going to be able to do things I want to do. Even though I have bpd, anxieties, clinical depression, and ptsd. I feel like with all of that I'm still a capable person. And I also don't feel as hindered by the drive to keep going.

I suppose I've always felt kind of like I wasn't suppose to really have a drive from the communities I was apart of before. Like looking at tumblrs community of people with mental illness, or having friends that have mental illness. But they don't plan on getting better. They plan on sitting in there illness. Either its sitting all day long on a computer and never functioning. Or using the excuse that they got mental illness so they can't go out and do things. I think also tumblr does get you to celebrate doing things. But its so focused almost at always been in survival mode, you never get to reach recovery mode and you know, want to work on skills. Like DBT, CBT, Mindfulness, Self care. ect.

It makes it seem like reaching out for help is okay.

removing toxic people from your life is okay.

Having goals is okay.

Like that (tumblr) community is kind of toxic with healing. Those goals tend to be viewed as "ableist".

But for me being in a group with adults that struggle, get kicked down, struggle a bit more, fight, and keep going with there life has really inspired me. Seeing people who suffer from the same mental illness be able to get up and have energy and be like, I'm living my life for me, and I'm not giving up. Really inspires me. I hear people go out traveling and I hear people getting degree's, owning businesses, or having pets, successful relationships. Battle other illness like the warriors they are. It really inspires me.

It makes me feel like being someone with bpd isn't a horrible fate, and it doesn't feel like I'm never going to be something/someone anymore. I feel like being of my group I'm able to figure out my goals and to feel normal. Like my uncertain about myself, my life, and my emotional and mental state is normal.