Saturday, October 7, 2017

30 days of BPD- Day 5

Day 5: If you were having an episode, what would you want your loved ones to do for you?

For me, I tend to need space. I get really introverted and I can get really claustrophobia when I'm triggered, so I really do best with no contact physically with anyone for awhile. Sometimes I do want to be held, or hugged, but I get so overwhelmed with the touching behavior that I can't have it. But there are times where a short hug does help. I also like to communicate love or feelings. I find that really helpful.  Because it lets me know even if something bad is happening someone still does love me.

Even though sometimes I feel like its not true. (yay being irrational!)

However I do like it when my loved ones ask me questions like "Is there anything you need right now Sae?" And it can give me a second to even think about my basic needs. Like "Have I drank water? Maybe I need water." Then I ask for water. Or "Have I ate food today? Should I maybe have soup?" and then I can ask for something like soup. (even if its just broth.) I like open ended questions because they give me the chance to think of what I want or need. Its also nice because it lets me know the person cares, They just aren't pushing there own thoughts of what I need onto me.

One of the other things I find really helpful is when my partner checks in on me. Like in an hour he might come to the room in the house i'm in to see how i'm doing. - Sometimes I am napping, other times I'm to the point where I'm starting to calm down and feel more like I'm willing to explain or talk about why I'm upset. But its really important for it to be within the set time I was told.

Otherwise I start to worry. Maybe they left, maybe they don't care. Maybe they said that just to get rid of me. and a new tail spin of worry happens. and often my anxiety starts to freak out.

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