BDSM FILMS!

Warning: This post has adult themes so I wouldn't suggest reading this post unless this stuff floats your boat.  :) 

 A lot of people in and outside of the kink community know of the movie called "50 shades of grey" and it has been heavily judge and put through the hoops of proving on why this is a not safe bdsm movie. And with this I can say what has been said is perfectly correct and I agree with most opinions of why 50 shades of grey is a horrid kink film. 

This post is going to be pointing out other kink films that also have huge flaws, and have abusive or rape undertones. I will not be linking trailers to these movies, if you are interested in them, please go seek them out yourself.  I'm also only going to be talking about the ones I've saw.  (I can only think of two real ones right now. :P I might also put the ones I've been told to watch as well.)

The Pet. 

The Pet was done is 2006. This is a movie about "pet play". I'm putting pet play in quotations because this is a very odd take on pet play. As soon as you start the movie, in the opening credits you see images of women being naked, screamed at, being branded, hung upside down, and it also has kidnapping themes. After you get through the credits you get into the opening which is just odd. I think it does let you know what this movie is going to be about. But I just wanted to say Pet play isn't like that. Some people are into branding. But kidnapping isn't something that happens with pet play. If that happens to you, its called human trafficking. But anyways, in this flim after the dark opening you see this girl. She sells flowers. She looks plain, normal. Cute. Her animal passes away. And shes upset, her boyfriend and her break up. And shes more upset. Shes sad also because she can't pay for a way so her cat can get buried and this strangely nice guy is like "I'll pay to get your dead cat buried" which is sweet. So this young women who adores her cat takes the hand of kindness and this fellow goes off and buries her dead cat.

After they buried her passed away cat, he opens up saying he lost an animal too. Which I think is them trying to create character interaction and having things in common. So these two characters go into his house and they walk and talk. But this is where stuff gets odd. This is a movie about pet play. Where is the pet play going to come in? Oh just a second. You'll find out in a second. So this fellow is like 'Yeah I've been looking for a new pet' and stuff, they go into a room that is suppose to be a shrine to his dead dog. And as he talks about how he wants a pet, he walks over and picks up his dead dogs collar and puts it around the girls neck. He than tells her, that for a short time she could be his pet and she would be pay a lot of money. And with this offer she says okay, and he asks are you sure. He never tells her what this calls for. But this girl says okay. So he gets excited and says something about how he is glad he has a new pet. And than he tells her  stripped naked,  not to speak, only make dog noise, use the bathroom outside and sleep in this persons dead dogs cage. 

The creepest part of this movie is when this guys friend comes over, who was shown in the opening as the kidnapper and brander meets this "dog" and says she would fetch a good price on the market. Which really does point to the direction this movie is going in, and with that all I can really say is, you find out that she gets kidnapped. And her "owner" goes on the hunt to find her and save her. 

Romantic right? This movie... Its just. It angers me so much.  This movie bugs me for a few reasons. One the opening. You already get the feeling this is going to be a dark and twist movie. I wouldn't call it pet play. I would call it a movie about a guy who was grieving picked up some girl who was also grieving the loss of her animal, was put in an odd place. And guy who lost his dog had some really BAD friends.  

What also bugs me is this guy is aware of what his friend does. "train"  the "dogs" he finds. I'm just like, oh my gosh. No. This isn't a bdsm.  There is no consent. The guy who lost his dog OFFERS money to keep this women 'his'. She was working at a stand selling flowers and she picked to do something that would get her paid more. He prayed on someone younger then him, and was really emotional not in a good place. I'm not even sure if the writers knew what pet play was. 

The Secretary 2002. This is a movie I do enjoy watching from time to time because it has maggie gyllenhaal in it. But this movie I think is another movie that people in the bdsm community either praise as great, or not that good at all. I feel like this was the original "50 shades of grey". And its better than 50 shades that was shown in 2015. 

This movie I feel like tackles a bit too much, which Is why I have a lot of problems with it. Its a movie that is trying to tackle the dominant and slave "relationship." But its just added way to many other things to the cocktail that it comes out as really rushed and not the best. 

So alright, this film I feel still has dark undertones, but its a lot different than "The pet". This movie starts off with the main female lead character getting out of a mental hospital and her mom comes to pick her up. This character at the start you can tell has some problems of some kind. She struggles with something. You end up finding out what shes struggles with quickly when you see her mom hide knives on her, just to be "safe". This character battles safe harm, and you find out she has a self harm kit. 

One of the other things you see with this character is she tries to figure out how to be a women, so she goes off and applies for work, her mom drives her around and she tries at places ontop of places. On her way home she notices a lawyers office and thinks to herself, why not! So she goes in and applies for work there. As this women, who once again I'm going to point out was release from a mental hospital comes into the office. She sees the passed secretary walk by crying with her stuff in a box and then she meets Mr.Grey. She ends up getting the job, and shes excited. When she starts to work she fines it really stressful, and at some point, she ends up cutting herself, and her boss sees her. And compared to him addressing it, or trying to get her help, he starts to pick at her flaws. Points at things he doesn't like about her, and tells her these things need to change.  

She starts to change herself to make herself more accepted by him. And this all goes fine, she gets a crush on him, and her habit is still there, but I feel like we don't see it as often. Then one day she ends up typing up a letter, and this is were the bdsm comes in! she gives it to him, and he notices a problem again. And he realizes what he say before isn't going to work, so why not try a hands on approach. So she gets called to his office and he tells her to bend over the desk and starts to spank her... then a few weeks by and he doesn't lay a hand on her, so she thinks she needs to find another way to get this 'discipline', and when it happens, he decides well spanking wasn't enough, so why not come on her?

And from there this is where the bdsm relationship kind of starts but its not really address as a relationship.  

So I'm going to open up here and I'm going to say something. When I self harmed and if I do self harm, its a form of self punishment, and this character that Maggie played as basically found a different way to get punished.  This character was looking for away to get hurt without possible getting locked up again. I think this is really shown when she goes to his office and sits their in a wedding dress refusing to leave until he comes to get her. For me, I think it really does show that shes just found a new way to hurt herself. I don't really feel like its bdsm.  She wasn't safe, and she wasn't sane.  I feel like she was just a very emotional person that was abused. 

I also find Mr.Grey really angering because he noticed she self harmed and he took advantage of her a number of times, and didn't really do anything to help her. He just used her, and he probably did the same thing to his ex-worker that left in the start of the film. 

A Dangerous Method 2011. This is a film that I really do enjoy. I like it because its more of a movie about psychology, and the birth of psychoanalysis oh and 'you just want to fuck your mom', Yup. Classic science.   

Compared to the movies above I didn't really find anything in the movie problematic. I guess the worst thing I could say is they do have the fact that one of of the scientist takes the women as his mistress and breaks up with her, and than the other guy takes her as his mistress.  

This is also a historic movie, because its based off of history, and the clothing and setting is also historic and its trying to show us something that happened in the passed. I wouldn't call this a bdsm film. I think a lot of people label it as that because of the spanking. (I'm also wondering if people are then paying attention to the story line.)  Also the first spanking scene was explained as the young women when she was younger her dad would beat her until he couldn't anymore. When she was little. It was also something that the women felt like she needed. (She took control of the scene I feel like) and in the end she didn't need it anymore and she ended up making herself into a better person. 

So for these last two I want to say they aren't bdsm movies, Just like "A Dangerous Method" people just seem to categorize them as that, which really really really really really angers me. But I only watched these movies because people labeled them as "BDSM" films and told me to go watch them.  The theme is taboo but taboo doesn't mean bdsm.  I'm not going to look for picture art for these two, because both of these films makes me feel so fucking mad.  The first movie is "Lolita". We also see a lot of fashion inspired by that movie. (nymphet fashion is based around what the little 14 year old girl wore). This movie doesn't sit will with me. There are hundreds of reasons on why this movie shouldn't be romanticized. When I watched this movie I was so mad. There was at some point I got up and left the room, I couldn't deal with it anymore. There is so much multinational in this film its crazy.  There is murder in this film, rape, and kidnapping. There is a sexual predator This film isn't a kinky film. This film is a scary film to be honest. I'm at a loss for this movie. Just.. Just go ask google. Google knows why. 

Meanwhile in American beauty there is a lot of ... ugh its focused more around a father fantasizing about his daughters friend.  This movie is also really gross because it shows the level of the friend not seeing why its wrong, and the father trying to figure stuff out.  even the fathers daughter tells him its sick, and she says the same thing to her friend.   The best part of that movie was when the dad was killed. Its just... Its a sick movie. 

(We need to look at something calming)

Credit: http://cupcakecrusades.tumblr.com/post/104209536276/guuuuuuyyssssss

So My thoughts? I think its utterly upsetting to see that BDSM films get made are more focused on putting bdsm as this dangerous scary thing to try. Our society is still trying to make bdsm seem unsafe and unsane.  One of the only things I can say about these movies is they do show the unhealthy and scary side of bdsm when you give someone control who shouldn't be getting it. Some people do go through abuse when they partake in bdsm. But its not exclusive to bdsm.

One of the other things that bug me is all of these movies seem to have the same kind of theme. What theme is that? The idea that the male just jumps right in to be the dom, and more so that a guy can just point at a girl and order her around for sexual harassment and nothing bad will happen. I think even if it was switched I would still be mad because work place sexual harassment is once again something that happens in the real world and it shouldn't be romanticized! but they seem to base themselves around the guy getting what he wants. 

I think one of the other sad things is how many people tell me to go watch this bdsm film and that and how many of these films have really dangerous themes. 

I would really love to challenge hollywood on making a healthy bdsm relationship. Not tackle themes, or dynamic types. Not go for things that look "hard", edgy, or cool on the screen. But just make a movie about a normal couple that have been together for awhile and they get along well, there is no abuse, and have that couple explore some bdsm, Because honestly thats how a lot of bdsm starts. Not in the work place and not because someones pet has passed away and you want to replace it. *shakes head*. 

It would also be nice just to see a movie with No abuse, no stalking, no rape, no kidnapping and basically not trying to harm someone for personal gain. Even more so with this kind of movie.