BPD stuff

When I was diagnosed with bpd I was a bit shocked and I was a bit upset to be honest, and sometimes I still feel really lost and confused within the diagnosed of being a person who have bpd. I guess for me it just really confuses me and sometimes it makes me look at my actions, like perfectly reasonable actions and be scared this is my bpd, or that is my bpd. It also sometimes makes me wonder who would I be without bpd?  I also did some exploring on youtube, and I regrettable read comments on one video saying people with bpd are mutuality and are disgusting people. Which upset me to say the lease. And I was more upset when I read that someone said people with bpd shouldn't be loved or make relationships, and stuff. So I have decided I might really keep my personal research outside of the internet world, just because I take comments that might not even be about me as personal threats due to the fact that I suffer from the same personality disorder people mock. 

One of the things I did is I thought I should look at mindfulness, I don't really have a lot of mindfulness skills, I have more grounding skills for when my anxiety acts up, and I go through panic or anxiety attacks, but I don't have anything for DBT. I also asked my doctor about DBT and he seems to want to take things one step at a time. Which I think it totally fine, I get overwhelmed easily. I know when my mental illnesses all take over at once I'm super overwhelmed and its hard to figure stuff out, and then having bpd play in makes it worst. 

So I thought I should pick up something for mindfulness.  And this is what I've found. 

Reading it so far has been really good, they go off and explain bpd a bit, they talk about symptoms and what happens, the thinking that people with bpd use, and all of the technical stuff. Which I personal really do like knowing. I'm someone who wants to know how this stuff works, where is it stored and just why it happens. I was like this too when I was learning about PTSD, I found it super interesting just learning lightly about the brain, and how ptsd really works and why you are in fact not a 'retard' when your ptsd acts up.

So this book was really amazing for it, I also like how the book recommend different types of mindfulness. Its not like, just do it this way. I also really loved how they pointed out that just reading this book and taking the words into concentration is a form of mindfulness its self, because you are reading the book with an open mind.

So I would say this book is amazing to read, and I would recommend it for people with bpd. I think I might also let my doctor (my therapist) give the book a read when I'm done.

The terms that are used are also really basic, and even when they are explaining the technical stuff, they aren't like 'well in basic terms this means(yaddyyaddy)'.   I also really enjoy the over all tone the book has, it doesn't feel challenging towards me.

One of the other books I recently picked up was a planner my friend showed me. This is a pretty nifty thing I picked up, and I'm going to start it in the new year.

It looks like what is shown above.  As the title suggests its meant to start tracking your progress, and I think this would just be neat to start because I really need to start tracking myself better, more so even with meds and stuff, and it would be nice to figure out what my triggers are, ect. This is a planner you also can start at any point you want too, you don't need to start it in the new year, Its not dated for "2016." I'm just someone who wants to start things in a new year.  The book goes through a few things.  I'll list them off. 

It explains:

• Why DBT?
• Mindfulness
• Distress tolerance 
• emotion regulation
• Interpersonal effectiveness 
• Self care assessment 
• How to use this planner
• Daily wellness planner 
• Past year highlights
• New years plans.

It also has a recommended book and websites you could use. Which I might check out. I feel like the sites that are going to be recommend are going to be more aimed at helping people with this personality disorder, then like a youtube site, or somewhere's like tumblr.  

I also wanted to show you what the planner looks like inside. 

In case you can't read, it has a week long self care chart up top, and below for monday, it says... "Skills practiced/ Mindfulness / Emotional Regulation / Distress tolerance / Interpersonal effectiveness"

And below that it has these categorizes

"Things that I'm thankful for, Goals I worked towards, today shinning moments"

And there also is a notes and reminders section and AND a area for you to keep track of being sober from engaging in harmful or destructive behavior! Seriously I love how set up this is. 

I do also like the setup of the planner because its really organized and to be honest it doesn't really make me feel overwhelmed looking at it. The pages are also a soothing color to look at too. I'm really looking forward to doing this in the new year. :)