Who am I?

This is a question that spins around and around in my head, and I know so  many people would tell me "well everyone asks that at your age" but its not so much that. I think a lot of people have a plan or idea of what they want to do with life, even if it makes them anxious. For me I'm not even at that stage of planning something and then blindly and in a disorderly manner trying to find it, and maybe grabbing at other things, but still finding my way. Thats not me. I wish it was. I think life would be just a different jumbled mess.

I feel like I can wary my thinking mattering on who I'm around and with.  I feel like people would say thats me too, or I do that.  But I think or at least understand is a lot of people don't change there everything, Its just people might become more open when they talk to someone who doesn't share the same views, or they simple just don't talk about things that might not be comfortable for them and might cause some kind of hostile environment. I know sometimes too people end up having a door open they didn't think about before. But for me I'm not talking about that. I'm not talking about new and odd things.

For me its not so much that and its not about clinging to social norms because I'm scared of breaking free. I'm more then comfortable to walk away from the social norms and to just be like screw everything and go live in the ocean. But, Its more like, Its more like this:  I could be walking one way, and someone might be walking another way and I follow them.

Its... I dump plans as I make them. I change myself in a way and by the time everything is done I feel so confused on what I even started or why. And I feel like I'm then not even making myself happy, because who the hell is me? It makes me just sit there and feel more dumbfounded and then I just want to scream. Because who the hell is this girl? Sometimes it makes me want to smash mirrors when I see myself and scream at myself saying "Thats not me." but I know it is, somehow.

I feel like I jump from thing to thing and I sometimes wish I could just be me. But being me makes me really anxious, and it also makes me wonder, what is me? When I was younger I tried to figure out who I am/what I was. Apart of me really felt like I wasn't human and to be perfectly honest those thoughts still linger, when I was younger I thought I was a mermaid of some kind. Just landlocked, and now I don't know. Sometimes I think I am a mermaid, sometimes I just feel like I'm a cat trapped in a humans body. I don't view myself as otherkin for anyone who is wondering. I feel like otherkin is a joke of some kind created by the internet.

But, anyways, it makes me so mad honestly. It makes me mad at myself, and basically at everyone around me. It bugs me that I'm so easily able to just be shaped into other things.

For some people I'm...

• A daughter/niece/sister/ family member of some kind.  - this means that I have to deal with a lot of problems and deal with the emotional stress.
• A witch - This means something that my family doesn't really understand or see "why". It means people look or act weirdly around me. Or I'm going to put some spell on them. If I could, I would put one on people to stop being so damn judgmental.  
• A anime fan - Which means I'm probably some werido weeaboo. Or someone who thinks I'm married to anime characters. 
• A lolita wearing - Which means a bunch of things. some of them are it means people think I'm stuck up, or I'm a werido. Or somehow I'm like into the book lolita and i'm wearing clothes? (Btw, your probably looking for the word nymphet. ) 
• Mentally ill - Which means there is something wrong with me. I'm making things into a big deal, I'm just making things more problematic then I really need too. and I'm nuts. 
• I'm Bisexual - Which means I'm again some werido, and in some cases I'm a 'fake' or 'false' person. And bisexuals don't exist. 
• a person with bpd - Which means I'm a bitch and I shouldn't be in love with people or anything else like that. And I'm nuts and crazy. 
• ...
• Ect

For me I can't even figure it out, like when I look at myself, I don't really know. I can point out things I like... but do those likes really make me, me? If I like anime, does that mean I'm now anime? I don't think so. This full thing just confuses me. Everything confuses me. I don't really know who I am, and this is why I tend to just say I'm "me" because its the only thing that makes sense.

 The idea of applying terms and saying this is me, and that is me is just to complex, and when I struggle with my own identity it confuses me more, it also makes me really upset and confused too, because I feel so anxious with being me, because I have no idea who me is. Who is me?