In one of my relationships I had a lot of good kinky sex. I also would get lots of cuddles and kisses, and we would spend a lot of time together before and after sex. It would be nice, and I felt a lot more comfortable in my own skin and I would feel happy and I would also feel really confident when having sex. Sex would empower me and I would feel amazing. I also would be a lot happier days to come.
I've had another relationship where sex made me feel dirty and horrible. There was no real cuddling before hand, or kisses. And after words it would be me laying in bed hoping I'd get cuddles but soon enough learning that cuddles won't happen and curling up to sleep because I felt depressed and lonely and ugly. I also would notice my self worth would die more and more and I never really felt great in the end. I felt more withdrawn and as I said really ugly.
I've noticed that sex has the power to make you feel either good or bad. The act its self, no matter what you add to the scene is always the same result. Two people with there bodies tangled around each other, breathing heavy and the tense moans and noses, changing to relaxed noses and bodies untangling. While noting that sex can be good or bad, I realize to that the focus is more on the relationship and how healthy it might be.
A unhealthy relationships seem to have, (In my case) really bad sex and in the end feeling horrible about myself. Meanwhile in a good relationship (which had some bumps) the sex was good and I ended up feeling better about myself.
I think for me knowing this I want to be more picky with whom I have sex with and why.
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