Lately I've been feeling a little bit tense and slightly stressful, but at the same time I feel really at rest with a lot of stuff. No matter the age, drama is something that happens and same with bullies. What surprises me is with age though more and more people seem to hate being called exactly what they are. Which is just strange to me. I guess the truth is something people are just never okay with.
That full situation is just so done though, I'm not even going to do anything with it. I want to move forward with my life, and I'm more interested in focusing on happy things in my life.
I noticed with that all happening thought I might really had a mood disorder, i'm not sure. So I'm looking into it with the doctors.
One of the happy things I've had happen to me lately is I've been able to do something I've wanted to do. Which is have a friend, Have a local friend who wants to hang out with me, and plan time to go do stuff together. It just feels really nice to have someone in your life, (other than my lovely lovely SO) want to talk to you, and like share interests and want to know about things your interested about and they aren't. And That makes me so insanely happy. I finally have a friend who is local that I can hang out with, talk to and do something with.
I think knowing I'm able to make a friend has also improved my self esteem a bit, it makes my self worth be a lot less low and I feel like I know I'm better now. And there is nothing wrong with me, because I made a friend.
I have enjoyed it though because this full summer I've been able to hang out with her, we've gone out beach combing together and we've also went shopping a few times.
Also with this friend she has recommended me to go talk to a psychologist she talks too. I tried to bring it up with my doctors but they didn't seem to happy that I was looking outside of there little community. I'll probably bring it up again because I feel like this is what I need more than a counselor who is going to tell me to make a special place in my head. I also need to see someone more often than the psychologist I can get referred to if the doctors think I have something enough.
It'll be about a month and a few days before I go back to school. I'm feeling really excited about it, I'm glad I'm able to go back to school and keep up with my education. I also was able to get into the two courses this term, last term I took one. So I'm going very slowly up with my courses and there loads. I'm hoping my grant comes in before I start classes, though. Because I need that money to pay for my course and my text books, but if it comes in a little late that'll be okay. I'm also really excited because these two courses are going to be a lot slower than the last one I took for marine biology. So I at least won't get stressed out nearly as much. :3 I'm also excited because they seem super great too. And I just want to keep going with school and get a job in something that I feel like I can really do and probably really enjoy.
I want to inspire hope and change and help the young ones out there.
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