selfishness

I don't feel supported by my family. And to be honest, it makes me sick. I support them, I support what they are doing. And yet they can't support me. They won't let me recovery. They seem to just think screaming get over it is going to fix it. Or screaming 'the needs for the children are more important than yours" as a reason on why I can't speak about my trauma.

The fact that my dad can tell me what happened was dead wrong and gross and treats me like its some made up fairy tale. It hurts me. Being told its a lie, being told I'm lying. Being told by my brother that he is gay so none of that happened. It boggles my fucking mind why this is even related to anything.

They aren't my fucking children, and they need to grow up and realize its not just 'them' that was hurt. Its not just my dad that was hurt. The selfishness of it all irritates me. Someones trauma isn't even a big deal. Them speaking up about it? Its not them speaking up about it, its them screaming at me to shut up and threatening to leave me. That's not support, thats not speaking up. Thats being an asshole.


Lets just all complain in a group and try and get the oldest to be told to get over it so our feelings can be better. So my dad doesn't need to 'deal with this shit'. and he is so 'pissed off'. How do they think I feel?

I'm sick and tired of the slut shaming. I'm sick and tired of being told I'm selfish, I'm sick and tired of being told I'm the oldest and I need to just 'get over everything'. I can not. Trauma doesn't work like that. Read about PTSD compared to just screaming at me. Learn about how the brain stores information. I'm NOT in control of it.

The utterly selfisness of my family disgusts me. And I keep getting told not to talk about it on my blog, not to talk about it. I'm going to ruin my family, I'm going to make everyone hate me. I'm going to make family 'friends' leave them.

What the fuck about me? Do I not matter. Nope. Everything is for the sake of the 'kids' and yet one has been forced to grow up and be told her feelings aren't valid.

They want me to say it was made up, it was a lie. They want me to do so many things that I can not do. And if that makes me loose my family, what kind of family is that to start with?

I'm not going to shut up about it. I was sexual molested and if I need to keep screaming that I will. Because they need to smarten the fuck up and stop being so selfish. I don't even care if they are in shock.