updated

I wanted to write up a post of stuff thats been going on in my life. I've had a rough week,  I've dealt with a lot of stress and I sadly feel back onto an old behavior I had. Which isn't good.

I ended up breaking my long run of not self harming earlier this week, I ended up hurting myself because I had broke up with my boyfriend and I felt really over whelmed and not real. So I hurt myself to see if I was real. So I've been looking after the areas and I've been using poly spore to make sure everything heals and I don't get infections.

In my group for people with bpd, I ended up asking if people knew any way to deal with disassociation and self harm. I got some really good ideas and I got a lot of good feed back and people seem to have been understanding and I didn't feel like I was being judged. Which was good, and I'm glad I was able to share because I just really want help.

For mental health reasons my boyfriend and I broke up. (I broke up with him) and I've been feeling odd from that. Odd in the sense of feeling empty and not really sure what to do about the emptiness. I guess for me its just hard to break up with someone for mental health reasons and having no real issues with the person.  I still really care about him, the issues is just my mental health.

So I've spent today going on shopping and picking up the little odds and ends I need to make my room feel more like a room. I ended up getting myself an alarm clock and a few other things. I also was able to get myself a set of bedding. Its great and the color is pretty and I really like it. I haven't put it on my bed yet. Mostly because my bed is up against the wall right now.

I still need to make room in this room. I'm not sure what we are going to do about the closet. I guess I can help him figure out the walk in closet we have. I know I'm going to take pictures of my room when I'm done setting it all up.

anyways I feel better writing out everything.